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CONSCIOUS EFFORT IN A RELATIONSHIP BREEDS TRUE LOVE. BY STACY M. AMEWOYI

Kumi Kasa

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The 21st century kind of relationship has become almost like a paper bag, which flies away as the wind blows. It’s not able to stick around for a different use or last a longer period.

As such, most youth rush into it and the farthest they can go is six months in a relationship or two years after marriage. The key actually for any relationship is a conscious effort.

The initial bond which is the fondness for each other will go nowhere if its left in the cold. Therefore, there is the need for both parties to put in more measures to be able to uphold that fondness for the relationship to last; except if it’s on the grounds of what to gain.

The “what to gain” and the self-centeredness kind of relationship is not what this piece is for but rather for those who would really want their relationships to work.

It takes two to play tango, thus immediately one gets too comfortable and shift the workload on the other, then the story of true love has come to a comfortable end.

The struggle of who called who first and it’s not my duty to do this when given room into a serious relationship spells out doom which can never look the same when broken into pieces.

Being conscious of your relationship is an everyday thing that needs to be worked on every day; from the moment the two meet and there is an agreement for a start of a new beginning, then an onus has been laid on the parties for its workout.

There should be an everyday communication to freshen the relationship; the remembrance as to the feelings both shares when spoken about every day, solidifies the relationship onto its next stage. When both partners are able to spew their feelings to each other and not shy away or hide a new progress of what they feel for the other, then there is a head way.

Different things happen every day in our day to day activities, we grow old, we lose beauty and even parts of our body but the decision to continuously love this person no matter what is the conscious effort to put in place daily.

There is always a self-interest somewhere when a relationship is concerned, but we have to check our commitment and communication to each other. If the commitment and communication is positive, it helps maintain the relationship.

Transparency is real key to every relationship, every human being has a bit of ego in him or her. What both want may differ from each other, but in the midst of all this, God tells us, when we are with people whose ego brings about anger, we shouldn’t allow the sun go down on our anger.

One should be able to come to a compromise, no matter the situation, as long as we are human beings, there’s always a common ground to which we can come to an understanding.

Once in a while accept your partners input to a problem, you can always lay down your ego just to suit your partner’s ideas. Why not put in the necessary effort for just the two of you to remain together? Tolerate each other. When there is true love, it’s not a matter of who is above the other, both are on equal terms except for the man being the head.

Do not allow friends to eat into what you have or take the leniency of your spouse to be his or her weakness, this will kill the relationship. No matter the fullness of what you call love, it’s just about 10% of the real thing, until you living it. You may judge others as to how they are treating each other but until you are fully into it, you will realize there is a difference to every shoe size of a relationship.

Love is the most beautiful thing that everyone should be able to experience, it is beyond normal but it depends on what lens you are wearing. It should be very transparent, not rigid, be able to compliment on their achievements and be slow to the weakness, forgive more and keep the understanding together, this goes a long way to a lasting relationship.

It looks like it’s now a crime to love in this era. But we can impact into our kids what it is really like to be loved, that is loving the right way. Be practical with them, let them pick after how you treat your spouse. It’s not about how you put your best out there, but what the people around you, can speak of your good works is all that matters.

Children holdup marriages and fights for marriage to be stable yes, but a time comes when the children become adults and have to face theirs also, so never make your children a guarantee to a sustainable marriage, work out your differences and be married for life.

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